How To Interact With An Irrational Ex-Spouse
April 14, 2022
Tags: divorce tips, li divorce mediator, li divorce paralegal
Let’s get the obligatory obvious statement out of the way first: divorce is hard.
Even if everything goes smoothly and both parties are cooperative, it’s a life-changing process that can be devastating for everyone involved. But when your ex is uncooperative, it can seem ten times worse.
Here are some tips to help you deal with an irrational ex without playing into their drama:
- Always keep your cool.
If your ex attempts to start an argument or make unreasonable demands, simply don’t engage. If you give them the defensive response they expect, don’t be surprised if their behavior escalates.
Instead, when your ex tries to ruffle your feathers with threats or hurtful texts, do not respond. Nothing positive will come out of arguing with someone irrational. Consider having a neutral third party take over communication for you.
- Don’t fall for the guilt trip.
Making an ex feel guilty is a common tactic for those who did not initiate the divorce. If your ex is hurt, they might lash out to make you feel that same pain. It’s important not to play into this game.
When the guilt trip happens, remind yourself that divorce was the best choice for both of you, and that you are not responsible for what they are feeling now. Plus, if they genuinely cared about your feelings, they wouldn’t be trying to hurt you.
- Stay Confident
A hurt, angry ex-spouse knows your deepest fears and insecurities and will use this information to their advantage. It’s imperative to protect yourself from manipulation and not give in to their demands.
To maintain your confidence, be on the lookout for this behavior so that you can dismiss it.
Another thing to keep in mind is that an angry person who uses their words to cause pain is probably deeply hurt and seeking vengeance. As hard as it may be, displaying some compassion will allow you to maintain your dignity, whereas lashing out will put you right at their level.
The key takeaway is this: you can’t control how someone else behaves, but you can control how you respond. If you look at divorce as the death of a marriage, you may begin to see clearer stages of grief from an angry ex. Although this is in no way an excuse for treating you with anything but respect, it might help you cope with their actions.
Disclaimer: please note that this article is not legal advice and should be used for informational purposes only. If you need legal advice you should retain an attorney licensed in your jurisdiction. The opinions expressed in this guide are solely those of the author, who is not an attorney.
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